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A Guy with 4 Eyes and Fire?!
Okay, so I had this dream where my family was sitting around the table having dinner. The back door opens and this guy walks in. At first he looked normal, in fact he sorta looked like my geography teacher, only with more hair. So he's in our kitchen and starts screaming and breaking stuff. When he turned to scream at my Mum, I saw that he had two more eyes in the bald spot on the back of his head! Then he spun around and punched my Dad and then these fireballs started flying out of his eyes, both the eyes in his face and the eyes in the back. I was really scared and I grabbed my sister and ran out of the house, but I could hear my Mum and Dad screaming and fire was exploding out of our house! Then I woke up and I was sweating like I could still feel the hot fire, and now I'm really scared something awful is going to happen to my parents!
Mick
Well, Mick, you wouldn't be normal if that didn't scare you.
I don't think you need to worry about your Mum and Dad. This dream is not predicting any future event. But it makes me wonder whether your Mum or perhaps your geography teacher ever says, "I've got eyes in the back of my head." Practically all mothers and lots of teachers use that expression to keep kids from misbehaving when Mum or the teacher isn't looking. Dreams pick up ideas like that and make them totally literal.
Here's what I think your dream means: the scary guy with four eyes is nothing but a part of yourself, Mick. Seriously. Each one of us has a "dark side," just like in Star Wars, only inside our minds. Psychologists call this part of the self the Shadow. It's the place where you stuff all the bad stuff you think of, like "I wish my teacher would die!" or "I hate my parents!" or "I'd like to smash my sister!" All those wicked thoughts and nasty urges don't just disappear; they all get stuffed into the dark side of the unconscious mind where they are hidden and kept under strict control. That's the Shadow self.
More about the Shadow
Nightmares like yours illustrate the fear that the Shadow inside you will break loose and do terrible things, like scream at your Mum or throw a punch at your Dad. The fireballs represent your anger and your fear that it might explode and ruin everything. The Shadow in your dream has four eyes because he "sees" all your hidden thoughts and all of your anger.
Now, don't panic. You have created a very good dream, even though it's scary. It released a lot of the stress from that anger inside your mind; that is exactly what dreams are supposed to do. Well done!
The Good Side of Bad Dreams
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I dreamed I was raped!
Dear Zia Lucia,
The nightmare was so real that now I'm afraid to go to sleep!
I'm not sure where I was, it was inside a building, maybe the basement of the place where I work? Or maybe inside the loading dock? I can't remember that but I do remember the man grabbing me from behind and feeling my clothes ripping, and then the cold concrete against my skin and how much it hurt when he raped me!
It was more awful than anything I ever imagined, and now I keep thinking that if I fall asleep, that same man will be waiting for me. Or worse, maybe the dream is a warning, and when I go to work he'll be waiting inside the door! Please help!
Treena
That's a horrible dream, Treena,
I'm so sorry you have been so frightened. But it is very unlikely that this is any sort of a warning. This dream is expressing your fear, which is the proper function of dreams. Experiencing the thing you fear most and surviving, all within the safety of a dream, is one way that your mind strengthens itself for difficult situations.
Dreams deal in symbols and metaphors, and rape in a dream often represents a feeling of personal violation. This need not be a sexual violation, but some situation "forced" upon you that goes against what you believe should be done. For example, you think this dream might be set at your work place, so perhaps a supervisor requires you to do something you do not like that is not in your job description. Or perhaps a friend repeatedly asks you to "help out," then leaves you in charge of the whole situation. In dreams, that sort of unfair coercion could be depicted as "rape." In all areas of life, your willingness and ability to say "no" while being respected are absolutely essential.
{Feeling that this just doesn't fit your own nightmare? That's not unusual, because every dreamer is unique. Tell me your dream, and we'll consider it personally and privately.}
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Why Is This Happening To Me?
Dear Zia Lucia,
It's hard for me to even think about my dreams, they are so awful. But the same dream keeps coming back every night so that I hate falling asleep! I really think I might need some help.
The dream always begins with me and my Mom and Dad living inside a crappy trailer, which is stupid, because we have a nice house. Anyway, there's a noise outside, and Dad goes to investigate. I see some big guys attack and shoot Dad in the feet so he can't walk. Then me and Mom are outside, too. One of the big guys grabs me, and Mom screams, "No, kill me, not her!" So the guy lets me go and swings something at Mom and cuts her head off! I see her head roll on the ground and her body falls and it's horrible.
Then everything changes, and I'm like in a mall, walking around. I somehow know my Mom and Dad are dead, but I don't even care. Then I look down at my clothes and they're covered with my Mom's blood. I start screaming, and then there's Dad lying in the middle of the mall with bleeding feet. He's like trying to crawl, but he can't get to me. And people are walking around like there's nothing wrong. Then I wake up and I'm crying.
Why is this dream happening to me? Am I a horrible person that I don't even care about my parents?
Sunshine
No, you are not a horrible person, Sunshine,
You have a truly frightening dream, and I understand that it upsets you. So let's look at it more closely.
A trailer is a temporary home, and this one is uncomfortable and unpleasant, suggesting some temporary but difficult situation affecting your family. One or both of your parents might be out of work, for example, or there might be a financial problem or an illness in your family. You expect it to be over sooner or later, when, in the symbols of the dream, you would return to your real house.
The attackers come from the outside so they represent a problem in the larger world or society rather than with your family alone. They don't attack you inside the trailer, so there is some sense of security even in this temporary home. Your father goes out to meet the problem, but is injured. He is not killed, only incapacitated, which is important. Then you and your mother are attacked, but she cannot save you. Looking at this, I see both mother and father doing exactly what parents do: they try to protect their daughter from the dangers in the world. Yet parents cannot protect their children forever; the daughter must leave the home and parents and face the world as an independent adult.
Remember that the decapitation is just a symbol, it is not meant to be taken literally. Think of expressions such as, "She lost her head," or "She screamed her head off." The image is one of someone becoming terribly upset or hysterical. In the exaggerated style of nightmares, your dream is showing the way you view your mother, when she "loses her head" about your growing independence.
Going to a mall afterward seems awful when you remember the dream. But in the metaphor of growing independence, it makes perfect sense. There are so many things you want to see and experience and make your own ... just like a mall. Seeing your father continues the metaphor. He feels that you are still dependent and that he must take charge and protect you, not realizing that he is no longer able to do that. Being covered with your Mom's blood suggests that you blame yourself when she "loses her head." I suspect that you are conflicted about becoming independent while your family is in their difficult "temporary" situation. Other people in the mall see nothing wrong because everything you experience in this dream is an over-dramatization of normal life. Families have tough times, kids become independent, parents hurt when their children don't need them any longer.
Frightening as the nightmare is, Sunshine, this is a good, healthy dream. It expresses a lot of pain and frustration that you might not realize that you have. It might also help you see your parents from a new perspective. And as you begin to understand the nightmare's message, it may not need to continue repeating.
{Still afraid to turn out the lights because of nightmares? Tell me your dream, and we'll see if we can't get you back to sleeping peacefully.}
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 Zombie Apocalypse!
Dear Zia,
OMG! I keep having these dreams about the end of the world, and I really think they mean something! What should I do?
It always starts in a different place, usually my school but sometimes the mall and one time at a basketball game. Okay, so like I'm on the bus going to school and everything is normal. Then when we pull up to the school, instead of parking, the driver pulls right up over the grass and crashes through the glass doors, and we can see that he's turned Zombie. So we jump out of the bus and there are bodies and blood, I guess where the bus ran over everyone. Then my best friend grabs my hand and we start running and try to hide in our lockers, but we can hear the principal coming down the hall, and we know he's a Zombie, too, so we try to get away, but we end up with all the kids herded into the lunchroom and the zombies are grabbing the littlest ones and eating their brains, and somehow I make myself wake up.
Another time I was with my Mom at the mall and she started acting funny, and then she was a Zombie and I had to run ... And another time I was at my Gran's and someone started pounding on the door. I knew it was the Vice Principal and I screamed at Gran that he was a Zombie and she said don't be silly and opened the door ...
I know another kid at school who has Zombie dreams, too, and he says lots of kids are having these dreams and it's because the world is going to end. And I'm really getting scared and I don't know what to do! Please help!
Jennie Wrennie
Don't panic yet, Jennie Wrennie,
Your dreams are terrifying and genuinely upsetting. But they are not predicting any real events, apocalyptic or otherwise. I think we might figure out a less cataclysmic explanation.
While a lot of kids might be having Zombie dreams, that does not necessarily mean that the world is ending. If you think about it, Zombies are really popular right now. Dreams reflect what people are thinking, so if you are thinking about Zombies, it isn't surprising if you dream about Zombies.
Let's consider what Zombies do. They force themselves on innocent victims, eat their brains, and as a result those victims turn into Zombies, just like their attackers. Can you think of anything like that happening to you and a lot of other kids? Powerful but dead (boring?) people (teachers, parents, authorities) take kids and "eat their brains." Could "eating your brain" symbolize changing what you know, think and believe? What's the purpose of school, education, training and discipline but eventually to turn kids into proper adults just like those teachers and other adults!
So your dreams of the Zombie Apocalypse are actually rather clever. Your own subconscious mind takes the idea of Zombies and creates a metaphor for the system that molds you into an adult who will fit nicely into that system. The dreams express your fears and the feeling that you want to escape, and that is exactly what dreams are supposed to do.
No need to panic after all. And by the way, congratulations on very effective dreaming.
{If you can't chase those thoughts of Zombies out of your head, tell me your dream. I'll take you seriously and we'll fight them off together.}
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