 |
|
|
|
Why Did I See Dead People In A Dream?
I truly wish there could be one simple answer to this question. Unfortunately, the category "dead people" is so vast that it is really tough to come up with any sort of meaningful response.
Which dead people? If one pauses to think about the question, it might refer to any of the persons who have lived since prehistoric times right up to the old folks who passed away an hour ago. That's a lot of people! And dreaming about dead Neolithic hunters/gatherers is very different from dreaming about dead peasants from Medieval Europe, which is different from dreaming about one's dearly beloved dead grandmother.
Perhaps the dream showed dead bodies. That would be more disturbing than seeing Abraham Lincoln or Queen Victoria, both of whom are quite dead, but not frighteningly so. Once again, the question as to what the dream means is impossible to answer, because there are far too many possibilities. The dream might show bodies laid out peacefully in their pillowed coffins, set amongst banks of flowers at a chapel or funeral home. That dream would be very different from a dream of dead soldiers scattered on a battlefield, or an attack of zombies in a campy old film. Each of those dreams would show "dead bodies," but each would have a distinct meaning.
So on this page we will consider some of the most common and most probable expressions of "Dreams of Dead People." If nothing here seems to apply to the dream that's bothering you, send an email to me, and I'll do the best I can.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Why Did I See My Dead Loved One???
"I saw my Dad, and it felt so real! He hugged me and we both cried, and we talked for the longest time. The I woke up and remembered he was dead, and it was awful."
"My Gran died years ago when I was just a kid. But last night I saw her in this dream, and she was so happy, she was actually dancing. I wanted to ask her something, I don't know what, but it was like I couldn't catch her to say anything. Then she waved to me, and then she was gone and I woke up. What the heck does that mean?"
"My second son died last year in a car accident; he was driving and they told me it was his fault. Anyway, last night I dreamed he was a little boy again, playing with his stuff in the kitchen. He dropped a jar of jam and it broke, so I yelled at him and sent him to his room crying. Then in my dream suddenly I remembered that he was dead, but he was alive in this dream so I ran back to his bedroom and when I got there he was gone and I woke up. It was so horrible, it was like losing him all over again, and why would I dream something like that?"
 Dreams are a natural, good, and healthy part of the grieving process. They might occur for the first few days after the death, but often the shock of the loss makes us rather numb during these days and nights. Dreams of the deceased are more likely to occur after some time has passed. They are fairly common during the first year of grief, but can crop up many years after one expects the process of mourning to be over and done.
From the psychological perspective, seeing one's Dad or Gran or child alive in a dream can represent the subconscious mind's effort to bring that person back to life. The subconscious can resist cold reality more stubbornly than the conscious (waking) mind. The following dreams illustrate that effort very well:
"Last night I dreamed that I saw Michael Jackson at Wal-Mart. He was sort of in a disguise, but I knew it was him. He told me to be really quiet, because he'd faked his death so he could have a normal life. When I woke up I began thinking about that, and it makes a lot of sense. Do you think my dream was true, and that Michael might really be alive after all?"
"In my dream I saw my brother Jason. He was all banged up with scars and stuff, but he was alive. He didn't say anything, he just looked at me like he was really sad and he wanted me to do something. Then behind him I saw this empty coffin with a bunch of trash inside it. In real life my brother's body was shipped home from Afghanistan, and we never got to open the box to see him or anything. So should I say something to my parents? Because maybe the Army made a mistake and my brother is still alive somewhere and needs help or something."
These dreams illustrate a desperate sort of wish-fulfillment. The subconscious mind creates a scenario to explain away the reality of death. While experiencing the dream, the most unlikely idea feels absolutely possible. The dreamer urgently wants to believe in the truth of the dream, which makes waking up into the grief of real consciousness doubly painful. But it is only through this slow process of feeling the depth of loss over and over again that mourning can run its course. Grief is hard work, but it does come to an end, and life goes on beyond the pain.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Did My Gramma Visit Me?
What does a dream mean when you see someone outside your door who couldn't really be there because she's dead? It was this old woman, but she was dressed in cowboy stuff with a hat and it was like I knew she had a horse outside. She was so happy and laughing for some reason. In the morning I told my mom, and she said that sounded just like HER grandmother who lived on a ranch in Arizona. But she died a long time before I was born and i never even met her, so what did that mean?
This dream feels much like the dream of the young man's dancing grandmother, described above. Both dreams suggest that the dreamer has made many generations of the family happy and proud.
Ultimately, it is the dreamer's choice as to what to believe. We can decide that dreams are just illusions, tricks of the mind based on nothing but the random firing of neurons that in turn trigger visualization. But couldn't the same argument be made about any experience or emotion? Patterns of light cause neurons in the eye to fire, setting off a chain of neuro-chemical reactions in the brain. Someone's touch sets off a cascade of sensory reactions that stimulate sexual hormones that excite certain areas of the brain, triggering both memories and desires. Okay, all that is true. But it does not mean that recognition of a mother's smile and the joy of a lover's touch are not "real."
Another option is to believe in ghosts, spirits or angelic beings. Did Gramma's ghost travel through space and time to stand outside her great-granddaughter's bedroom door? Did her ghostly form consist of ectoplasm or some other mysterious substance that science has yet to identify? Probably not. There are far too many problems involved in rationalizing this sort of supernatual stuff with the real world of physics, biochemistry and the Internet. Magical thinking just isn't going to help us with this problem.
Yet not only dreams like these, but all faith traditions of the world suggest that loving relationships continue beyond the barrier of death. If any aspect of an individual survives physical death, would it not be the will to love and reach out to those who are loved? We already know that love, trust, respect, concern and devotion are not limited by physical size or ability, so why would these treasures be limited to bodily existence? Moreover, love and caring do not depend on any magical abilities or occult mysteries; they just are.
In the Song of Solomon, the Hebrew Scripture declares that love is a strong as death. Psalm 23 declares, "I will dwell in the house of the Lord forever." In the Christian texts, we can draw from the Gospel of John, "I go to prepare a place for you that where I am you may be also," or the Pauline Epistles, "O death, where is thy sting? O grave, where is thy victory?"
We know that love endures. That pretty much explains everything else.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
One of my favorite quotations is not from an ancient sacred text but from a much more recent source. Very near the end of J. K. Rowling's Harry Potter series, a scene occurs between Dumbledore, who has been dead for some time, and Harry, who might be dead himself.
"Tell me one last thing," said Harry. "Is this real? Or has this been happening inside my head?"
Dumbledore beamed at him, and his voice sounded loud and strong in Harry's ears even though the bright mist was descending again, obscuring his figure.
"Of course it is happening inside your head, Harry, but why on earth should that mean that it is not real?"
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
